The confusion in today’s culture about “roles” in marriage compels us to understand what the Bible says about the unique responsibilities God assigns to a wife.
Perhaps more than at any other time in history, women today need a clear understanding of how they should relate to their husbands. In fact, the significant social changes brought about by the women’s liberation movement over the last few decades have led to such confusion that the very idea of “roles” is repugnant to some.
It is important to look clearly at what the bible says on this subject. And while the bible doesn’t apply our modern word “role” to marriage, the scriptures are clear about the unique responsibilities God assigns to a wife;
- Be a helper to your husband: While all of us are called to be helpers to others, the bible places a special emphasis on this responsibility for wives. Genesis tells us that God realized it wasn’t good for man to be alone, and that He decided to make a “helper suitable for him” – Gen.2; 18.
- Listen to your children. REALLY listen. This is a tough one for some mothers, but you need to keep trying. We tend to assume that we know more than our kids do, which is true to some extent of course, so we don’t really bother to listen. In addition, we often act as problem-solvers, dishing immediate advice, when all they need is for us to listen to them.
- Teach them simplicity. You will do them a big – a HUGE – favor, if you teach them at a young age to avoid associating happiness with the accumulation of material possessions which is in line with our theme and prayer for the year. The younger they are, the more likely they are to listen to you, so start early.
- Don’t push them too hard. A good number of us were raised as overachievers, and we can testify from our own experience that overachieving does NOT lead to happiness. Yes, we do want our kids to be successful. We want them to reach their full potential and to be financially secure. But we must try not to push them too hard and to maintain a relatively relaxed approach to success at school and to after-school enrichment activities.
- Teach them self-esteem. A person with a high self-esteem values him/herself and will not get into, or stay in, an abusive relationship. A person with high self-esteem is more likely to be happy and to reach his/her full potential. How do you teach your kids self-esteem? Someone replied: by showing them that you value them, by spending time with them, and by talking with them and listening to them.
In conclusion, and on a lighter mood but with a very deep sense of seriousness, in many homes today, there is unpronounced, but unhealthy rivalry between husbands and kids in their relationships with mummy at home. Without trying to put the entire blame on our women in any way, it is undeniable that some women give more attention to their kids to the detriment of their husbands. It should be very clear to every mother that your husband is your first “baby”, just as you are to him. Hence, he takes precedence. However, a mother of noble character is never a one sided figure. She is a good wife and equally an excellent mother at the same time.